Life starts to get serious when you hit 30. Unlike the good old days, excessive dating wasn’t too common. Matter of fact by the time you were 23 years of age, marriage vowels have been made, babies were born and you owned a home with your spouse. This was just how things were.
Boy how times have changed!
We have evolved into a society that no longer feels the need to rush. However, dating seems to have become a sport. People pick their starting line up, play with each other and then an MVP is selected. Until you become that most valuable person he or she selects to win in life with, dating will be your way of life.
In your 30’s a few things have happened which may affect your dating style. Don’t be ashamed nor worried. There are no set rules to this game. Most of your experiences are subjective and bias but not incorrect.
So let’s discuss some things to expect during this phase:
Loss of Patience. Hopefully by this point in your life you have had at least two or three serious relationships. Most likely you have been through times of feeling pain, disappointment, hurt, embarrassment, anger and engaged in some intense disagreements from that guy or girl. After the combinations of all those moments, it will be no surprise that you will have no more patience for the drama in the next person you date. Another thing that will happen is that you will break things off at the first (maybe fourth) sign of distrust, disrespect, lies, cheating and other things. Don't feel bad about that and be true and stern to want you want and deserve. But then there is low patience due to your limitations with time. As a 30-year-old or plus adult your schedule is probably busy and your time is precious. Therefore, you become very picky as to how you use it not just with yourself but with others. Single parents struggle the most with this during their dating season(s). However, patience is a virtue and can fruit some great things when done properly.
Limited Options. The dating pool of which to swim in is low, almost waist height. In both heterosexual and homosexual communities there may seem like there is a lot to choose from but there really isn't. Most singles are very superficial and want a perfect ten of a woman or man at first glance. However, are you that perfect? Impossible task starting out the gate to think that another person would be so perfect without having had the chance to fully learn who they are after time. Then you have that looming zodiac sign hanging over your head causing automatic pre-judgement. Which I’m sorry to say is most of the time true to who you are. Use that source of reading over a person's zodiac to figure out if they confirm some of the characteristics mentioned. That alone will save you the time and hassle of finding out later. Try to pay attention to the signs, don't ignore it. Ignorance is the path to distraction and heart break. Wait there's more! Don’t forget us canceling a person out the moment they show signs of a bad habit our ex attributed to that past failed relationship. If that habit didn’t settle well before it won’t matter if it’s coming from a new person. All that is, you are recycling server acceptance to bad people and things. Therefore, at a certain point it's not the person you date that's the problem, it is you. As limited as your options are, you still have options. So at first sight of the bad in a person, run and don’t look back! You already know it doesn’t work for you.
Age is just a Number. Even though statistics says it and it has been proven that women mature faster then men. It is also founded that common sense ain’t that common to everyone. Remember your little middle school crush that was cute but dumb. Sorry to tell you that even in the 30’s they still do exist. There is nothing worse then a person that is attractive but has no substance to bring to the table. Unless you like them cute and dumb, most of you will come to find out a 38 year old can act like an 18 year old. Meanwhile, a 24 year old acts like a 42 year old. When this happens, do not attempt to be that person that thinks you can change a juvenile adult to become St. Theresa or St. Micheal. They are who they are. So if you find yourself having to force your date to do things you like or to provide the basic needs, then you are not the women or man they want to be with. Move on! Some folks just have an old soul and some people actually act out their childish thoughts. Either way, don’t settle for the non-sense regardless the age.
The Bare Minimum. In this advanced economy where more people are obtaining educational degrees and financial independence, we expect by this phase of age that he or she has the basics. This would include education, job/career or own a business(es), owns a vehicle and has a private residence just to begin. Dating a person that barely has two or none of these things, when you do, will pose several issues. For example, he or she may feel insecure, some feel entitled to live off your hard work, jealousy may ensued, ungratefulness takes over, and even worse you’re taken advantage of to provide what the other person is lacking. Some solutions to this is to live separate, allow each other to be independent and avoid dependency. Dependency will bring drama and stress always. It’s important for your potential spouse to add and not subtract from your life, and vise-versa. This may come off to others as if you are overcritical. However, this is your life and you along with this person you are dating will have to wake up into that relationship daily. Therefore, why entertain something that is not on a solid ground in the beginning. We should not date if we are not stable, secure and in a safe mental space. Don’t bare it all and get nothing in return. Start with the bare minimum from this point on. Trust me!
There is obviously so much more that plays a part to dating above your 30’s such as religion, culture, morals, sex and inner circle. However, if we keep going this blog post will never end.
At the end of the day, aside from the higher power, you control your dating lifestyle. Don’t let others dictate what you know and feel is best for you. Do keep in mind at times we aren’t the best judge of character and can select to date a person that is not good for us. One way to avoid losing the game every time is to SLOW DOWN. Take your time, open your eyes, follow your gut and listen.
Now go date and be prosperous. How you find and know he or she is wife or husband, is a whole other story !!!!!!